When
I wrote “Past 2011” a year back I was much happier than when I wrote this
farewell posting for 2012. It’s an irony that a year which was one of the most
frustrating also turned out to be one of the most remembered. Unlike in 2011, I wanted to spend a couple
of quiet days isolated from human onslaught and wasn’t interested in any
adventure or serious photography. All I wanted were some space, time and
silence to think for myself and the
path to be chosen further as I slowly begin to recognize “Life isn’t always
supported, there are moments when you need to walk alone”. In pursuit of a
quiet wilderness I drove with 3 of my best friends to Nagerhole in southern
Coorg on the night of Dec/28 after naively consuming 2 seductive pills to
control a profusely running nose. This lead to one of the most dangerous night
drives I had ever attempted and just after 260 Kms it was extremely dangerous
with the drug playing its powerful role. Handed over the wheel to Mr. Dave as I
joined Mr. Wolf (Murali) and Jungle cat (Sunand) to enjoy few hundred
kilometers of romantic dream surrounded with 100’s of tones of trucks and
speeding Volvo’s. I always had loved
this kind of sleep, sleeping on the edge, as your already tired friend
maneuvers the car through dangerous, unpredictable and speeding Indian highway
traffic and only the dawn would let know if you had survived the chaos.
When I woke up early in the cold morning the Bangalore-Mysore state highway was
brimming with traffic and we pulled over for a break, as I began to think how
the next 2 days of isolation would help me understand the past year. When we
reached “Jungle Inn” a little ahead of noon it became obvious this place was
indeed nestled in one of the best settings that nurtured a healthy wild life
and, the electric fence all along the resort’s perimeter only endorsed that. I
quietly mixed with the elements of this place and closed my tired eyes to think
what it was like to have passed through 2012. What an experience it was…2012…A year that would remain one of the most
unforgettable in my life unless my brain was hit by a coma. A year that lasted
like a 90 minute action film…a year that dehydrated my creativity with
absolute lack of natural elements…a year that instilled in me the fear of
climatic degradation resulting from uncontrolled human intervention…2012, a
year that boiled hot throughout…a year that rendered the lands thirsty…a year
that accentuated man-animal conflicts…a year that crippled my travel plans…a
year that didn’t contain anything but absolute emptiness…a year that lead to a
deficient and fierce 2013…2012, nevertheless…defined patience like never
before…a year that taught to compose and react…a year that helped learn good
things aren’t forever…a year that taught bad experiences taste longer…a year
that created hype…2012…a year that took
me across never before seen lands…a year that proved beauty exists amidst the
most devastating of situations…a year that instilled in me a lifetime of
thoughts grabbed from the most stingy of monsoons ever seen…a year that took me
across the wildest of Ghat sections…a year that made me renounce fear of
forests over Western Ghats…2012…a year that made me wander in search of never
willing rains…a year that made Dave my
special friend as we drove thousands of Kms in search of the happiness learnt
in 2011…2010…2012…a year that defined my perseverance as I kept smiling…a
year that introduced me to sights I never wanted to see…a year that rebuilt my
friendship lost way back in 2011 and which began in 2009…2012…what else I could
say?? This was one of the toughest years ever in my mature life as I struggled
to cope with reality and surged forward with the thought of a super human that
never existed. To sign this year off I spent a couple of quiet days in the
confines of Nagerhole National park, re-establishing the normal blood pressure with
the help from beautiful sights the forest had to offer. But when I stepped into 2013, I was startled to
face the biggest ever test of mental strength as I join my mother’s struggle
against adenocarcinoma (Lung cancer) and in the process transition myself to be
a more liable person. For the past two months I forgot every other thought from
the regions that induced ecstasy in my beautiful life as I kept thinking about
the woman who brought me into this world, only at the instance when she was
about to be expelled from this world. My only worthy payback would be to
introduce her to the beautiful, selfish life I had been living through for the
past three years…and Iam sure she will appreciate and shed few tears…as I did
when I met her…every other time. This year, my journeys would be crippled…they
wouldn’t be as frequent and lavish as they used to be…but…they would be intense
like never before…squeezing the very last drop of tear from my eyes…washing
away the self-content I had been walking with and pushing me ahead to
struggle…for that something Iam destined to reach in this birth. Yet, I don’t
know how I would emerge at the end of this year…and much afraid of its contents
that are pre-determined and unknown to me…
